Wednesday, October 29, 2008

News





I'M ENGAGED!!! Dave proposed last Sunday night after the marathon. His original plan was to do it after I crossed the finish line but due to transportation complications he changed the plan. I wondered why, a mere 3 hours after I'd run a marathon, he was asking if I wanted to take the metro into D.C. to check out some monuments. "Um, no. I can hardly walk. Why in God's name would I want to do anything but sit here on my tired, sore ass?!" Apparently he thought it would be cool to propose outside a monument. Indeed. If only I'd obliged. I think he started freaking out a bit but was good about hiding it and actually things worked out perfectly. We went to dinner with my aunt and uncle who ran the race, and another uncle who was up visiting. We devoured massive, scrumpulescent burgers washed down by a few frosty beers. Yum. Then my aunt told us about a cool waterfall park a few blocks away. We decided to check it out. It's difficult to describe but it's almost like a giant infinity pool that flows over a long wall. Just off the sidewalk there is a small vendor's cart where coffee and small snacks can be purchased, along with several small tables and chairs. Trees are interspersed to create a quaint and charming atmosphere. We decided to walk up to the second level so that we could look out over the small waterfall and enjoy the view. After we'd been there for a few minutes enjoying the view I asked if he was ready to go. To my surprise he said "Um, no, let's stay a few more minutes". I had a feeling something was up b/c it was fricken freezing and Dave is a FL boy with very little tolerance of temps below 70 degrees. He looked a little nervous but started talking..."Well, you got your medal today and I have something else for you. I'm very proud of you and I think we make a great team. I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you. (gets down on bended knee) Jennifer Stills, will you marry me?" Of course I got all teary but managed to blurt out "Abso-friggin-lutely!!" I gave an excited little yelp and gave him a bear hug. I was secretly hoping he'd propose during that weekend. I'm so glad we were on the same page. :) He told me about all the 26's and how it just seemed perfect...it was Oct 26th. I had run 26(.2) miles, we were both 26 years old, when he filled up my gas tank prior to leaving the total was $26. I guess it was just meant to be. It was the absolutely perfect ending to a perfect day. When I told Kev, one of my BFF's, his response cracked me up: "You were very productive today. Most people just go to church on Sunday and you ran a marathon and got engaged." That's how I roll. The picture of the ring doesn't start to do it justice...this little fella kept blinding the camera. It's good stuff. Me likey.


Soooo, I'm still somewhat waddling around like a penguin and yet all I can think about is when I will run next. :) That surprises and pleases me. I'm considering doing the Shamrock Half in VA Beach next March. It's right around my b-day and I think it'd be fun to get some friends together and give it a whirl. I am so so so happy that I chose the MCM as my first marathon. I think it was a fantastic choice for me. I'm still trying to let the weekend's events fully register. It all seems so surreal. I just couldn't be any happier right now. :)

Thanks again to everyone who provided athletic support (heh heh, couldn't resist) via this blog. You guys are the best!!! I've got a ton of blog reading to catch up on this weekend. Happy Hump Day. I'm gonna take a hot bath and chillax.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mission accomplished!






Wow, where do I start? I had the most incredible weekend of my life. I took on this challenge with apprehension and without a full realization of exactly what I would be doing. But I could not be more pleased with the results.

We arrived at my aunt and uncle's in Arlington around noon on Friday. Throughout Fri and Sat I kept having phantom pains all over my body: particularly in the legs and feet. I told my aunt about it and she said "Oh yeah, me too. That's normal". Good deal. The night before the marathon I was strangely calm. It was as if the gravity of the situation was nowhere close to registering in my brain. I had no idea what I was in for. We got up Sunday morning around 6. I forced down some toast with peanut butter and about 1/2 a banana. We left the house around 6:40 or so to take the metro to the race. My aunt and uncle were running as well and Dave got up to come with us so that he could see us off. By the way, if you are running a race and will be relying in public transit, it's a good idea to already have your fare paid for; the lines to get the tickets for the metro were out of control!! I was so glad they had tickets for all of us. We took the metro to the race and found the Coast Guard tent to put our stuff down (my uncle is a Coastie), used the porta potties and were off to the start line. We'd lost some time along the way and ended up getting to the line a bit late. I had talked to some of the Clif Bar Pacers at the expo on Saturday and was stoked to join the 5:30 group. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to find them before the race; I was walking toward the back of the starting line b/c I knew I had no business being around 3:30 and 4 hour runners. Before I could get anywhere near where I should have been, everyone started inching forward. So I turned around and started walking with everyone else. I was nervous but figured I could catch up with them later. I reasoned they would be easy to find with the bright balloons attached to a stick raised high into the air. You know what they say about assuming...

I knew I had to run as slowly as possible for the first several miles, and that I should probably do some sort of interval, but that was difficult to gauge without a watch. I'd been debating whether or not to wear one and decided against it figuring I'd have no need for it, "Some else will be doing all that work for me. I'm just gonna run and then walk when I'm told". Oops. As I ran under the puffy bright red arches I got a little emotional. No tears but damn close. I was finally doing it! The first mile flew by. I couldn't believe it. The crowd support was intense. People were EVERYWHERE. There were tons of signs and cowbells and people were yelling and cheering. I saw a few signs for JEN and although they weren't technically for me, for the first time in my life I silently thanked my parents for my ubiquitous name. My aunt and I had both written our names on pieces of tape with black marker and put them on our chests. That might have been my smartest move all day (other than applying Body Glide). Nothing in the world boosts you more than random people yelling "Lookin' good Jen, keep it up!!".

Around mile two, I remember looking to the left side of the course and seeing a line of guys relieving themselves among the brush. Penis envy set in even though I didn't even have to pee yet. It was just the principal. Miles two and three flew by. My mind was uncharacteristically quiet. I was very relaxed and was focused on just having fun. I enjoyed taking in all the sights: the spectators, the signs, the runners, the buildings around us. Everything was so beautiful. I saw a sign that said "Pain is temporary. Pride is forever" and I decided to make that my second mantra for the race, after "Have fun". Mile four took us across a bridge and at one point I heard "JEN, JEN". I followed the voice and saw Dave waving at me from behind a row of spectators off to the right. I got pumped. I was so happy to see him. I waved and continued on my journey. The view straight ahead of us was incredible! The tip of a tall steeple peeked out of the fog just on the other side of the bridge. No description or picture could do justice, however, it was at that moment that I really wished I'd had a camera.

Miles six and seven went by painlessly. Mile eight, for whatever reason (and despite the small hill - "flat" course, my ass), was awesome. It must've been the crowd support. I was just pumped. I felt great! People would yell my name and I'd flash a smile, do a few double fist pumps and yell "thank you!" I was lovin' it!! I couldn't believe how great I felt. I saw a few more signs that cracked me up: "Run like you stole something" and "Where the HELL are the endorphins?!" I got a good chuckle from both. I should mention that During miles 3-8, I was trying to incorporate walking breaks but had no idea what I was doing. For a while the pack of runners was so thick that I didn't want to walk and risk someone literally running into me. When a group near me started to walk I did the same. I silently counted to 60 and then began to run again. Although I was attempting to walk with some sort of regularity, it was thrown out the window b/c it seemed like there were many times I was about to start walking and the crowd support was just outrageous and there was no way in hell I was walking while people were yelling and cheering for me and telling me how great I was doing. Nu-uh. I think I had my first PowerGel packet around mile 8...maybe it was before that. I can't remember. There were water and Power Ade stations about every 2 or 3 miles. While I planned on walking through most of those, my plans were usually foiled by a Marine who would say something like, "You're doing great Jen, keep it up!" I would smile, yell "Wooo!!!", thank them, and start running again, just like that. Every few miles there would either be a clock, or a Marine announcing the time. I'd try to quickly do the math to see if I was on track for my 5:30-ish finish. I figured I was pretty close.

Miles 9-11 went by relatively quickly. A dreadlocked man shouted "DO THE DAMN THANG" to us as we ran by. I smiled. Around this time, I started to get a bit emotional (again) as I thought about what I was doing. I was about to run 12.2 miles farther than I ever had in my life and was going to do something that a relatively small percentage of the population can claim they've done. I thought about how we're capable of doing so many incredible things but rarely push ourselves to experience or achieve beyond what we're comfortable doing. I was so proud of myself in that moment. The balls of my feet started to ache a bit during these miles but the pain wasn't too bad. I took some Motrin around mile 11. I stopped a few times to stretch my IT band as my hips were starting to feel argumentative when I'd begin to run again after my walking breaks.

I was worried about 12-14: Haines Point (sp?). At the expo the girl at the pacer booth mentioned that I'd want to be with a group at this point b/c it can be a bit desolate: it's a long loop that runs along the Potomac. There aren't as many runners and it helps quite a bit to have company. I told her I'd need as many distractions as possible. Fortunately, it ended up being fine. There were enough runners near me to keep me distracted and there was an entertaining group of people on a speed boat that rode alongside us and waved and yelled.

Mile 15 was tough. I somewhat expected everything to go downhill at this point, reasoning that I'd never run that far and surely, bad things were just around the corner...thankfully I was wrong. Miles 16 and 17 were superb. There were tons of spectators and I did a lot more smiling, high-fiving and fist pumping as people called my name. I really hoped that I didn't have Power Ade or gel stained teeth and then thought "Screw it. I'm running a damn marathon. I'm supposed to look at least a little bit funky." I was running strong and feeling great and hoped that somehow I could hang onto that feeling at least until I saw Dave and the family and mile 23. I guess I was a little too pumped because as one person called my name and told me how great I was doing I did my smile/fist pump combo and after I shouted "Wooo!!" he told me to calm down and save it. He said "that's what I'M here for. Save your energy". What a nerd. No way was I gonna stop my random mini celebrations when I was feeling so good.

Miles 18-20 were ok. I got some interesting grub from spectators. People were lined up on the sides of the street giving away full bottles of water, Power Bars,candy, pretzels, you name it. It was awesome. Mile 21 was across a long bridge that I swore would never freaking end. It was awful. I did a lot more walking at this point. Spectators were fewer and farther between but I tried to do as much running as I could. A few times, I was scared I wouldn't be able to start running again after I'd been walking. My hips were sore and my body was starting to register more signs of fatigue.

Miles 22-23 went through Crystal City, which is where my aunt and uncle live. During these miles I had a brownie, a mini snickers bar (the girl shouted, "It's carbs, it's carbs" - SOLD!), another gel and some water. The road was split between those of us starting the trek through Crystal City and those of us finishing. I looked longingly at the other side. I was feeling good though. Brightly colored flags flanked either side of the road and there were tons of people cheering, ringing cowbells and holding signs. Oh, and on mile 22, there was a guy sitting in the median on a bicycle and he had a boombox on the handlebars that was blaring M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This". I smiled, sang, and somehow resisted the urge to perform the "Hammer-crab dance" as I like to call it. I typically only pull this move out during wedding receptions and only when I'm brimming with "liquid confidence". I charged on. I saw Dave from the opposite side of the road and started flailing my arms and yelling. He saw me and snapped a pic. I hoped it wouldn't be too long before the course would wind back by to where I was on the same side of the street with him. A few minutes after the turn I was approaching him and my G-ma and my uncle and cousins, with my uncle holding the awesome sign Kim made for me (pictures forthcoming. The sign read something like: "Jen - you're the worst runner in the world. FALSE. You're awesome. I love you! Make 26.2 your &%$@#!" (it's loosely based on a Dwight line from The Office). I started cracking up and held my hand out to give Dave a high-five. Apparently the girl just to the left of him thought I was trying to give her a high-five and after I passed her she yelled "Oh I'm sorry. You wanted a high five..." so I turned around, slapped her hand with gusto, did something ridiculous like a backward leaning double fist pump that almost bordered on a pelvic thrust, yelled "Yeahhhh, wooooo" and then turned back to Dave. He snapped some pics and I was off again.

My plan was to run the entirety of the remaining 3.2 but I couldn't quite make it. I walked more than I would have liked. My energy was waning but I was excited that I was so close to the finish. My pace slowed to a crawl but I forced myself to keep moving. At mile 25 I saw a guy sitting on the side of the course receiving medical attention. It looked like he was getting in IV. Yikes. Spectators were a bit scant in these parts but assured us that we were "almost there". I decided that I had to run the last 1.2. No exceptions. It seemed like most of the people around me were walking but I had to run...or shuffle along because at that point that's all I could manage. Someone yelled, "mile 26 is at the bottom of that hill" and I smiled and followed my aunt's advice to just "take it all in" and think about what I was about to accomplish. The finish line is actually up a small hill. What a sick joke. I felt myself picking up speed as I approached the mile marker and continued up the hill. Spectators were crammed on the side of the course like sardines and they were all yelling and cheering for everyone. I began to grimace as my right knee felt like it was about to give out. I thought about what I was on the verge of accomplishing and felt my face tighten and tears welled at my eyes. I breathed heavily and propelled myself to the finish line. The clock read 5:41 (although apparently my actual time was 5:37:11). I slowed to a walk and tried to enjoy the "congratulations" and "great jobs". I grabbed a bottle of water, a space blanket thingy and got in line to receive my medal. As I looked up at the person in front of me I realized it was the pace leader for the 5:30 group that I never found. I couldn't believe it. How the heck had I not seen them?! I smiled and congratulated myself for pulling this thing off all by myself with the same result I would have had with a group. Somehow I think it worked out better that I forged this on my own. My only goal was to finish and if I'd been running with anyone else, chances are I would have been inundated with other expectations. I finished and more importantly I had FUN! It was such an incredible experience.

I want to recognize the 4 outstanding "performance enhancers" that helped me on my journey:
1. Body Glide. Without you I would be a huge chafed mess. I walked away with absolutely no chafing. I was amazed!
2. Packing tape and black sharpie. Like I said, wearing my name on my shirt was a brilliant move and reaped many rewards.
3. Trident peppermint gum. I chewed one piece of gum the entire 26.2 miles. I swear to God, that gum must've been magic and I genuinely attribute part of my success to it.
4. The Marines and spectators. The race was so well organized and the volunteers and supporters were beyond fantastic. I can't find the words to accurately describe how wonderful everything was. I wish I had the opportunity to thank the Marines not only for their help and support during the race but for what they do every single day. They (along with the other branches of the military) make sacrifices I would never dream of and I thank them all from the bottom of my heart.

I feel like I have so much more to say but am afraid this post has already gotten too long. Thanks to everyone that has followed my journey and encouraged me along the way. I thought about you all during the race and am so thankful that I had the crazy idea to start this blog. The result has been nothing short of amazing and has buoyed my spirit and confidence. I hope to meet many of you over the years. :)

I must get some breakfast. I will write again later today or tomorrow b/c I have other news as well...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Catching the "Spirit"

I netflix'd "Spirit of the Marathon" last week and finally had the chance to watch it tonight. I knew it was going to be good when I turned to Dave with tears threatening to fall no less than 3 minutes into it. Nothing huge or miraculous happened; some guy simply said something like, "Running a marathon will change your life. You will absolutely be a different person after the marathon than you were before". BAM! Cue emotionally over-the-top overreaction. 'Grab some Puffs you little ninny!' The movie followed several people training for the Chicago Marathon (running gods/goddesses AND everyday people). I couldn't help but grimace during the parts where the runners are struggling through their 18 and 20 mile runs, thinking (me, not them), "Dammit dammit dammit. I shoulda done that! I am so screwed." What is it they say about hindsight...?! I was really impressed with the training program featured in the movie. It was a huge organized group that got together for long runs (if not other weekly training runs) and was broken down into pace groups. I think it was a 3 or 4 month long program. I had no idea that things like that (apart from TNT) existed in cities. That would be so fun, not to mention extremely helpful for someone like me with close to zero self discipline. Hmm. Maybe next time.

Today at work the marathon kept popping into my head; much more than normal. Every time I started to think about it, small knots would form in my stomach and I'd feel a little queasy. Good stuff. I can't wait to see how that intensifies by Saturday or Sunday. Yeesh.

Some fun facts about the Marine Corps Marathon:

*It's the largest race in the world that does not have cash prizes for the winners.
*Nickname: The People's Marathon
*4th largest marathon in US, 8th largest in world
*Date of first MCM: November 7, 1976
*Size of first MCM: 1,175 runners (by comparison NYC had 123 runners for it's first marathon in 1970)
*The race is now limited to 30,000 runners

That's it for now. Gotta hit the hay. We're leaving here tomorrow night after work to drive to D.C. G'night!

Monday, October 20, 2008

6 days. God help me.

The marathon is just six short days away. How the hell did it get here so quickly? I'm looking forward to the race, despite my lack of training and preparation, but can't help but feel like I've bitchslapped the very idea of my marathon. I've made a mockery of the training. I've dissed all those training plans I carefully studied and then discarded. I just feel kind of...bad about my lack of commitment. Maybe it's guilt. I also can't help but wonder if on some level I've sabotaged my training so that I can have an excuse if things go poorly. It's much easier to blame my poor performance on a lack of training (b/c my life was just waaayyy to busy to properly train. Er, yeah, that's it) than to say "Oh, yeah, I trained my ass off but 12 miles into it I got a hellacious cramp/ache/sprain/strain/whatever, that I simply could not recover from." But I'm not planning on having a crappy race. I really do believe everything will go well. At least as well as can be expected when you are pushing your body and mind far beyond familiar and comfortable territory. That's the exciting part though.

I just finished an awesome book that I hope to draw on for inspiration during the race. It's called "Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner". It was brilliant. I got it from the library last week and began reading it during commercial breaks of one of the Rays/Red Sox games (go RAYS!!). I couldn't put the damn thing down. I really couldn't. When it was time to brush my teeth I stood in the bathroom, book in one hand, toothbrush in the other. When I had to pee, I chilled out and read for a while. (I know that was TMI but I gotta keep it real). I stayed up late reading until my eyes could no longer stay open. The next day at work I read during my lunch break. I couldn't get enough of this book. Anyone who orders a pizza, cheesecake and coffee during a race and is able to consume it on the go immediately gains my respect. Dean Karnazes is un-freaking-believable. Although I realize that our levels of fitness are radically and vastly different (ginormous understatement), I am inspired and comforted by the feats he has accomplished. I keep thinking "If he can run 200 miles straight, surely I can run a measly 26.2 miles". Cake, right?! I have a feeling that one of my race mantras (and temporary tattoos courtesy of a sharpie) may be "never give up", which was certainly a resonating theme throughout the book. I know that I CAN and WILL do this. And I look forward to crossing the finish line and crying like a baby once I realize how much I've just been through mentally and physically. Good stuff. :)

I got tagged.

Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve answered the questions on your blog.

10 Years Ago (1998):
1. Sophomore in high school.
2. On the swim/dive team, soccer team, tennis team.
3. Got my dad's '95 Monte Carlo: "the MC".
4. Went to Alaska.
5. Got my first job...or was that '97? I can't remember.

5 Things on Today's "To Do" List:
1. Return jeans to the store b/c they made me look like I had "mom" jeans on.
2. Work.
3. Yoga or run.
4. Get package together to send to friend.
5. Watch 'How I Met Your Mother'.


5 Things that I would do if I were a millionaire:
1. Buy a house.
2. Take a month long (at least) trip around the world.
3. Pay off car.
4. Give some away to friends & family.
5. Invest.

5 Places I have lived:
1. Sebring, FL
2. Tallahassee, FL
3. Clearwater, FL
4. Murfreesboro, TN
5. ???

5 Jobs I have had:
1. Cashier at the "Big K"
2. Admin Asst
3. Office Manager
4. Pimp
5. Clerical Support Specialist

Now, I'm tagging....
I didn't really check to see who's already done this, so forgive and ignore me if I retag.
1. Suebob
2. Rachel
3. Emily
4. Irish
5. Julie

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Nike = El Diablo?!


So my BFF Kim ran the Murfreesboro Half Marathon yesterday (GO KIM!!) and Dave and I were there to cheer her along. I decided to make a couple of signs the the the sign featured in the picture was my favorite. It came to me like a thunderbolt Friday night. I was trying to think of something funny and since I'm not witty enough to really come up with anything on my own I decided to use something from my favorite tv show - The Office. You can imagine my surprise when Kim approached us during the race and I noticed she was giving me "the bird". WTF?! It turns out she couldn't see what was underneath "Faster, Faster" and her first thought was "Dammit, I'm going as fast as I can. Don't tell me to go faster you bitch". Luckily she got a big kick out of it when she was able to read the entire thing. I have a picture of her laughing and pointing (at what looks like a Dr Pepper can on a traffic cone but I know she was really laughing and pointing at my kick ass sign). I was so proud of her and being in a race atmosphere certainly made me excited about my upcoming race. :)

Working at a physical therapy clinic definitely has its perks. One of the therapists has been asking me how my running is going (on a twice weekly basis at least), and seems to be amused when I say "Don't remind me!" after she conveniently reminds me "Only XX days left, Jen!" I've been complaining a bit about my foot and finally last Thursday she said "I'll take a look at your foot if you want me to". Hmm, let me think about this...free medicine. Sign me up! So she did an evaluation, which consisted of looking at and feeling my feet, watching me walk and making me do a variety of things such as standing on one foot (to see if I had to shift a lot of weight), doing a straight leg sit up while she held my legs down (no clue what the heck this was about but afterward she told me one leg might be longer than the other...wtf?!) and there were a few more things that I can't remember. I felt very self-conscious when she and another therapist were watching me walk. When I get nervous or overly self-conscious, I start grinning like an idiot. So as I was walking away from them I kept seeing my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirrors on the opposite side of the room. I tried to stop myself from smiling but I couldn't. It was ridiculous. I felt like such a retard. Anyway, it turns out my left hip is weak and I walk like a pigeon-toed ninny. Also, my super high arches are causing my foot pain b/c I'm over-pronating and the lateral part of my foot is trying to overcompensate for that. Somehow my weak hip comes into play. Apparently the weak hip always affects the opposite leg/foot. She gave me loads of information which I almost immediately forgot. Oops. She was also so kind as to give me a list of hip and knee exercises to do along with some therabands. Which reminds me I need to do those tonight. Booo.

When she asked me what kind of running shoes I had and I told her Nike she just shook her head and another one of the therapists held up her two forefingers in a cross as if to indicate Nike is the DEVIL (bum bum bummmmmmmm). They said New Balance is what they recommend to people as they tend to have the best support. Since I've had the shoes for over a month I don't imagine Fleet Feet will be too eager to take them back for me to exchange. I don't know what I'm going to do but I'll figure something out. I asked her whether she thought I should still run or not and she said I should try to get some different shoes but she doesn't think I'll hurt myself too badly...knock on wood. I ran thrice this week with minimal problems. I'm leaning more towards adopting a Galloway style for the race. That's how I completed my 10 miler a few years back with virtually no training, and it went pretty well. I'm hoping that since I have a decent, albeit smallish base, I'll still be ok. One good thing is that Kim's half mary piqued her interest in racing. I'm hoping that we can get together a few times a week (after my race) and run. I know that would be really good for the both of us. I still need to work on Dave though...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Less long runs, more pain and apprehension

Sooo, the 14 miler I last blogged about was my last long run. I was sore for 2 days and on the 3rd day my right foot started bothering me enough that I couldn't help but grimace as I limped around the house and the office. Not cool. I stopped 2.5 miles into my first run last week, unable to go any farther b/c my foot hurt so bad. Unfortunately, I didn't run again last week. Yeeaahh. I know, I know. I should have done 20 miles by now...or at least 18. I'm just gonna have to wing this thing bigtime. I've been thinking about joining either a much slower group or a Galloway group during the marathon. I haven't decided which I'm leaning towards. I'm just eager to talk to the peeps at the expo and see what they think (other than the fact that I'm a moron and a slacker).

I've done 6 miles so far this week and have had a bit of pain but nothing like what it has been. Honestly, I'm not sure what to attempt this weekend in terms of a long run. To be honest, part of me is saying "Screw it. How much good can it really do? Although you WILL finish this marathon, it's going to kick your ass so hard that a few extra miles probably won't matter". Ahh, yes, I'm known far and wide as the eternal optimist...or is it the eternal procrastinator/slacker/lazy ass? Something like that.

I don't have much else to report. We had some friends in town last weekend, which was wicked awesome. We did a corn maze, watched some football and went into Nashville where we drank way too much. Oy! Oh, and I learned an impromptu physics lesson Saturday night at the bar. Let me give you a quick background: we're at a bar where a live band is playing cover songs - most of which are country. The drink special was $4 pitchers of PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon)...which were going down like water. Sometimes I get really into music, like, embarrassingly so, and begin to do things like play the air fiddle (my favorite), air guitar (not quite as common), or just jump around like a spastic moron on crack. Well, one of these "inspiring" songs came on - I have no idea what it was - but it was the kind of song that you just HAVE to get into. My chosen "dance move" at that particular moment was a sort of old-timey clap and leg slap: do a fast clap and then each hand slaps a leg in succession, then repeat very quickly over and over and over. I'm probably not explaining that well but I hope you get the picture. The problem was that I obviously couldn't do that with beer in my hands. Do I ask someone to hold it? Do I put it down somewhere? No. I put the plastic cup 3/4 full of beer in my mouth so that my teeth are gripping it. Guess what? Plastic cups flex and bounce. Guess what else? When plastic flexes and bounces (along with ones killer dance moves), whatever is in the cup splashes up (and into your face). I got maybe halfway through my second round of the quick clap/slap when the beer flew up and coated my face. We all had a good laugh. I'm glad I was good and drunk by that time or I would have been far more embarrassed (although my judgment probably would have been better than to do what I did). Anyway, the moral of the story is to simply ask someone to hold your beer before you get your groove on. Godspeed.
"If you think you can, or think you can't, you're right."

~Henry Ford