6 days. God help me.

The marathon is just six short days away. How the hell did it get here so quickly? I'm looking forward to the race, despite my lack of training and preparation, but can't help but feel like I've bitchslapped the very idea of my marathon. I've made a mockery of the training. I've dissed all those training plans I carefully studied and then discarded. I just feel kind of...bad about my lack of commitment. Maybe it's guilt. I also can't help but wonder if on some level I've sabotaged my training so that I can have an excuse if things go poorly. It's much easier to blame my poor performance on a lack of training (b/c my life was just waaayyy to busy to properly train. Er, yeah, that's it) than to say "Oh, yeah, I trained my ass off but 12 miles into it I got a hellacious cramp/ache/sprain/strain/whatever, that I simply could not recover from." But I'm not planning on having a crappy race. I really do believe everything will go well. At least as well as can be expected when you are pushing your body and mind far beyond familiar and comfortable territory. That's the exciting part though.

I just finished an awesome book that I hope to draw on for inspiration during the race. It's called "Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner". It was brilliant. I got it from the library last week and began reading it during commercial breaks of one of the Rays/Red Sox games (go RAYS!!). I couldn't put the damn thing down. I really couldn't. When it was time to brush my teeth I stood in the bathroom, book in one hand, toothbrush in the other. When I had to pee, I chilled out and read for a while. (I know that was TMI but I gotta keep it real). I stayed up late reading until my eyes could no longer stay open. The next day at work I read during my lunch break. I couldn't get enough of this book. Anyone who orders a pizza, cheesecake and coffee during a race and is able to consume it on the go immediately gains my respect. Dean Karnazes is un-freaking-believable. Although I realize that our levels of fitness are radically and vastly different (ginormous understatement), I am inspired and comforted by the feats he has accomplished. I keep thinking "If he can run 200 miles straight, surely I can run a measly 26.2 miles". Cake, right?! I have a feeling that one of my race mantras (and temporary tattoos courtesy of a sharpie) may be "never give up", which was certainly a resonating theme throughout the book. I know that I CAN and WILL do this. And I look forward to crossing the finish line and crying like a baby once I realize how much I've just been through mentally and physically. Good stuff. :)