Deja vu

Here I am beginning again. My last "beginning" fell flat on its face and went absolutely nowhere. I signed up for Chicago last year and was super psyched about it but the plans fell apart. Many exciting things happened that contributed to the collapse of my Chicago '09 challenge. I got married (yay)...my husband and I bought our first home (yay)...ok so I guess that's it. By "many" I meant two big things. Anyway, too much life got in the way and Chicago became a no-go. I was sad about it. I still am sad about it because I keep getting emails from the Chicago Marathon peeps and Nike. Hell, I even got an email containing a link to print out my finisher's certificate. That was a good one.

Fast forward to 2010 and here I am contemplating my goal(s) for the year. I refuse to make resolutions. I feel like the word is cursed...I can't think of a single damn resolution I've ever kept. Maybe it's just easier to blame the word than my lack of discipline. :) Oh well. I digress. So for over a year I've done far too much sitting on my arse and far too little running, walking or anything in the physical realm. I hate it. Tonight I walked on my treadmill for about an hour. It felt wonderful. I really need to update my ipod...the songs that got me going 2 years ago have lost their fizz. EnVogue's "Don't let go" came on and rocked my world though. It was a lovely surprise that invoked my most heartfelt jam out session of the night - which also turned out to be a bit embarrassing when Dave poked his head in the garage to find out 1. whether cats were fighting somewhere outside our house or 2. if I had fallen off the tread and was screaming for someone to help me. Ouch.

I would have run but I did something this morning to completely jack up the right side of my neck. It hurts so bad when I turn my head that I have to instead move my entire torso to the side if I want to look at something to my right. So I'm hoping that gets worked out asap so that I can get my act together. Dave and I rearranged the garage so that the tread is now unobstructed. Until this afternoon, if his car was in the garage I couldn't use it. So the good news is that I can use it anytime I want. The bad news is that obviously I no longer have an excuse for not using it. Damn. I guess I'll have to get more creative. Mwahahahahahahaaa.

In terms of eating "right", I think my body has finally vowed not to let me eat what I want when I want. The concept of sort of feeling what you're eating has clicked with me. Yesterday was one of those days. It started out alright: toast with pb and jelly, milk, coffee, and yogurt. Then I went to a movie with Kim where we shared popcorn and drank water (maybe I'm finally outgrowing my soda cravings - yay). This was followed by an impromptu trip to a rinky dink bar called The Wagon Wheel where we each had a bottle of beer. Sidenote: I must tell you how much I love spending time with Kim. Time with her always yields something spontaneous and memorable. While we were driving to my house I made the comment that I really want to go into that bar sometime - simply because it looks like a total crap-hole-in-the-wall dive. I love places like that. So she responds with, "Right now?!" Me: "What, no..." We exchanged meaningful looks and after about 20 seconds she said "Ok, we'll do paper, rock, scissors for it. If you win, we go. If I win, I just take you home". Paper, rock, scissors, throw. We both threw paper. The obvious choice next would be scissors...if you're an amateur. Pffftttt. So I threw rock, which clearly smashed the hell out of her scissors and she promptly made a u-turn and headed to the bar. It was good stuff. So after that we decided to go to the store for beer to drink while watching the remainder of the Saints/Cardinals game. We also got chips. So that was my dinner: Coors and BBQ lays with the occasional mini peanut butter cup thrown in when things got too salty. Needless to say, I soon felt like horsecrap since I'd had nothing containing any nutritional value since the early morning. My stomach ached something awful so I decided to eat an apple in a pathetic attempt to make peace with my poor bloated body. Today I was much better. I'm too old for that shit. I need to get my act together. Anyway, it's time for bed. If anyone's out there, thanks for reading. If not, that's cool too. It feels good to kind of verbally vomit (pardon the term), as one of my favorite former coworkers used to say. I've missed this.